Loving and being loved is one of the biggest contributors to our happiness. This is easier said than done. Our closest relationships can face a lot of internal and external pressure. Happily ever after sounds lovely in theory but the reality is that our relationships go through different stages and seasons and staying connected in the midst of busy life circumstances, family situations and other external stressors can be tough. Bring into the mix that we all have our own vulnerabilities or “internal buttons” that inevitably get pressed, and for most couples, handling (or avoiding) these emotions can result in destructive dynamics.
In can be tough to admit that your relationship situation is not working and couples therapy can be a daunting prospect for many people but also a very courageous step.
At Brisbane Wellbeing, two of our senior Psychologists Shannon Yeardley, and Dr Deb Worboys can work with you and your partner to help improve your relationship. Shannon and Dr Deb both use the Gottman method (see below).
When your relationship is struggling, it can impact all other areas of your life. Challenges and demands sometimes erode our relationships and most people have never learned the skills to communicate and process conflict or may have a very different style to their partner.
The Brisbane Relationship Clinic assessment and relationship therapy process offers support for:
Couples who are struggling in their relationship,Couples who are unsure if they want to remain in their relationshipCouples who are going well but who want to improve their closeness and communicationPre marriage counselling
Couples Therapy Assessment Phase Gottman Method (Stage One)
Our Psychologists and Relationship experts based our approach on 40 years of research by leading world relationship experts, Dr John and Julie Gottman. Hundreds of studies have help to identify the factors which predict relationships that succeed or fail.
Brisbane Wellbeing Clinic offers the Gottman Relationship Check Up Assessment Process to help you and your partner identify the strength and struggle areas in your relationship and to help determine whether you may benefit from couples therapy.
The Couples Therapy Assessment Phase
Individual Interviews
Individual 50 minute interviews with each partner and a relationship psychologist to help understand each point of view and motivations
Online Relationship Check Up Questionnaire
If recommended by the relationships psychologist following the interviews, completion of an in-depth relationship questionnaire by each partner – The questionnaire can be done from home (online) and is composed of 480 questions about friendship, intimacy, emotions, conflict, values, and trust, as well as parenting, housework, finances, individual areas of concern, and more. This assessment takes 1 to 2 hours to complete. It is an efficient way to gain in depth information that would otherwise take many sessions to understand.
Relationship Feedback Session
Following intensive interpretation your relationship therapist will then meet with you and your partner for a 90 minute feedback session to discuss the feedback from the individual interviews and questionnaire to help you to identify your relationship strengths and struggles and to provide targeted recommendations about focus areas should you both wish to proceed to couples therapy.
Couples Counselling Phase (Stage Two)
Couples can then choose to proceed to having regular relationship counselling sessions to work on the identified struggle areas of their relationship. Depending on the needs of the couple, relationship counselling is generally on a weekly to fortnightly basis initially and then moves to a less frequent basis to help maintain relationship closeness.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT RELATIONSHIP COUNSELLING
What if my partner does not want to attend?
For couples counselling to be effective, it is important that there is a level of willingness for both partners to make a change. Often one or both partners may feel uncertain about whether they want to work on the relationship. The Relationship Assessment phase (step one detailed above) is not committing to counselling, but rather to an assessment of where things are currently at so that both parents can decide whether they want to proceed with counselling. In situations where your partner is unwilling to do this or perhaps you want to talk about your relationship with Ashgrove psychologists or relationship therapist one on one, it is best to book an individual consultation rather than as a relationships consultation.
How many sessions will we need?
For some couples the assessment process is enough to help give some clarity to move forward, for other couples particularly those have been struggling for a long time, more intensive sessions are required. Your psychologist will discuss their recommendations with you after completing a careful assessment of your situation.
What type of couples problems does relationship counselling help with?
Some of the most common issues that we see couples struggle with include:
Different emotional stylesUnresolved conflictAffairs or other significant ruptures to the relationshipA sense of growing apartLoneliness within the relationshpLack of closeness and intimacyCommunication struggles and avoidance of resolving issuesImpact of anger, reactivity or mood issuesImpact of mental health issuesImpact of drug and alcohol issuesImpact of stress or work challengesStage of life adjustment and challenges